Burn It Down to Build It Up: Ditching the ‘Perfect Mom’ Myth for Good

Newsflash: The “perfect mom” doesn’t exist.

Yet, somehow, we keep chasing this fictitious woman. She’s the mom with the spotless house, the homemade organic lunches, the perfectly balanced work-life schedule, and the patience of a saint. She never forgets a permission slip, she never raises her voice, and her kids always eat their vegetables without a fight.

Sound familiar?

How often does chasing this fantasy of motherhood leave you feeling exhausted, inadequate, or like you’re constantly failing?

The truth is, this “perfect mom” myth is a big, fat lie—one that keeps us overworked, overwhelmed, and convinced we’re never doing enough.

But here’s the good news: You don’t have to play by those rules anymore!

It’s time to burn down these unrealistic expectations that don’t serve us, embrace our beautifully imperfect realities, and build up a version of motherhood that actually feels good—one rooted in authenticity, self-compassion, and joy!

So grab a match, because we’re about to set fire to the BS and step into a new version motherhood that is powerful, fulfilling, and real.

I’m so excited, aren’t you?

Who Am I?

Hi! I’m MacKenzie, your Self-Care Mompanion. I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and owner of Follow Your Arrow Counseling, LLC. I work with Moms and Therapist Moms who are stressed out, overwhelmed and not taking care of themselves as well as they take care of everyone else. I speak from experience as I’m a Mom, too.

Being a Mom is hard. There are some days I really don’t like it, to be honest. There are days I don’t like having to deal with some of the parts of motherhood…like being blamed for everything, ignored and not being appreciated. Thank goodness there are other moments when my daughter tells me I’m her best friend that make up for all the crappy moments.

Stick around and join me as we walk this road of motherhood together. It truly takes a village to raise our kids… and maintain our sanity.

Who Sold Us This Lie Anyway?

Somewhere along the way, moms were handed an impossible script to follow. We were told that “good moms” sacrifice everything—their time, their energy, their dreams, even their basic needs—all in the name of being “good enough.”

We were told that we should:
✔️ Always be available to our kids but never complain about exhaustion.
✔️ Keep a perfect home but not seem too obsessed with appearances.
✔️ Work like we don’t have kids and mom like we don’t have a job.
✔️ Love every second of motherhood but never need a break.

What the what?!

It’s a total setup. A game where the rules are rigged, and no one actually wins.

Burn. It. Down.

Hear me out. What if we stopped trying to meet impossible expectations and started redefining what success looks like for us? For women who want to be thought leaders, leaders in our industries and also feel like we’re crushing it at home.

Here’s what it really means to burn down the “perfect mom” myth and build a version of motherhood that actually makes sense and works for us:

🔥 Burn the idea that your house has to be spotless to be a good mom.
A lived-in home is a loved-in home. Your kids won’t remember the dust on the shelves, but they’ll remember the times you snuggled up on the couch with them. (How many of you are breaking out into hives remembering the laundry list of chores that needed to be done on a Friday during summer break? Me too!)

🔥 Burn the guilt that comes with taking time for yourself.
You are not just a mom. You’re a person with needs, passions, and a life outside of motherhood. Taking care of yourself is taking care of them—because a burned-out mom doesn’t serve anyone.

🔥 Burn the belief that struggle = failure.
Motherhood is hard. End of story. Having hard days, feeling overwhelmed, or wanting/needing help does not mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

🔥 Burn the pressure to be “everything” to everyone.
You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to be the sole emotional, physical, and mental caretaker of everyone around you. You get to set boundaries. You get to ask for help. You get to breathe.

Building It Back Up—On Your Terms

Once you let go of this impossible idea of perfection, you can start rebuilding motherhood on your own terms. Here’s how:

✨ Prioritize What Actually Matters. Not everything on your to-do list is urgent. Focus on what truly adds to your life and let go of what doesn’t.

✨ Say No Without Explanation and Apology. Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re necessary. Protect your energy like your peace depends on it—because it does. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you’re saying no and you sure as hell don’t owe them an apology for prioritizing what you say yes to.

✨ Embrace the Messy Middle. Some days will feel like a win, and some will feel like a disaster. That’s normal. Real motherhood is not Pinterest-perfect, and that’s okay.

✨ Surround Yourself With Real, Supportive Friends. Find the moms who don’t judge you for the dishes in the sink or the meltdowns at Target. Find the ones who lift you up, remind you you’re doing amazing, and make you laugh even when life feels like chaos.

✨ Celebrate Yourself. You are raising tiny humans while also existing as a full-grown one. And in some pretty f’ed up times, too! That’s huge, Mama! Give yourself all the credit for the love, effort, and heart you pour into your family every single day.

You Are Enough. Period.

Motherhood was never meant to be about perfection—it was meant to be about love. Not the kind of love that looks curated for social media, but the messy, real, deep kind that happens when you show up, even on the hard days.

So let’s stop trying to be perfect, instead embrace the chaos. Let’s burn the myths that are holding us back and build something better, something real, something that feels good.

You in?