The Power of 'Me Time': Navigating 'Selfish' for Overwhelmed and Stressed Moms

The Struggle Is Real

Being a Mom means an endless list of responsibilities, from soothing a crying baby to afterschool pickup, activities and somehow feeding your hungry gremlins.

Ain’t nothin' “selfish” in this caregiving lifestyle.

In my office it’s the same thing time and time again; the moment a Mom starts to talk about taking some time for herself, “selfish” is one of the first words that comes out of her mouth.

Say what?!

This blog is focused on exploring the impact of embracing self-care as Moms and why prioritizing yourself is not just a desire but a necessity.

And it’s anything but selfish.

Who Am I?

Hi! I’m MacKenzie, your Self-Care Mompanion. I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and owner of Follow Your Arrow Counseling, LLC. I work with Moms and Therapist Moms who are stressed out, overwhelmed and not taking care of themselves as well as they take care of everyone else. I speak from experience as I’m a Mom, too.

Being a Mom is hard. There are some days I really don’t like it, to be honest. There are days I don’t like having to deal with some of the parts of motherhood…like being blamed for everything, ignored and not being appreciated. Thank goodness there are other moments when my daughter tells me I’m her best friend that make up for all the crappy moments.

Stick around and join me as we walk this road of motherhood together. It truly takes a village to raise our kids… and maintain our sanity.

Embracing ' Me Time'

‘Selfish’ is a Naughty Word

Our self-care journey begins with understanding that taking time for oneself is not selfish. It’s anything but selfish. It’s a form of self-love, acceptance and, at times, a form of self-preservation. Prioritizing self-care allows you to recharge, clear your head, take care of your body and mind and slow down your thoughts, all while enhancing your ability to provide care and support to others.

Why do people use such a negative term to refer to something so wonderful and giving as this? In my office, you’re not allowed to use ‘selfish’ or ‘lazy’ in reference to yourself. Both of these words make it sound like you’re doing something wrong.

You’re not!

Reframing the Narrative

This journey begins with a shift in mindset. Instead of viewing self-care as an indulgence, recognize it as a fundamental necessity. It's not an act of selfishness; it's a deliberate choice to recharge and replenish your mental, emotional, and physical energy. Imagine a well that provides water to a village - if the well runs dry, it can no longer keep the community alive. Similarly, as caregivers, if we ignore our own well-being, our ability to help and care for others becomes limited.

Essential for Effective Caregiving

Acknowledging that taking care of ourselves is an essential part of being effective caregivers is (but shouldn’t be) a revolutionary concept. It's similar to putting on our oxygen masks first before assisting others on a turbulent flight. By ensuring our own well-being, we grow our abilities to offer calm, kind and supportive care to our loved ones.

Breaking the Cycle of Guilt

Reframing 'selfish' as 'self-care' also helps break the cycle of guilt. Instead of feeling selfish for taking a moment to breathe, exercise, or engage in a personal interest, understand that these actions contribute to your ability to be present and engaged in your caregiving roles. It's a paradigm shift that allows you to throw out the unnecessary burden of guilt and embrace the empowerment that comes with self-care.

Setting Boundaries

Learning how to set boundaries is an act of self-love. Discover practical strategies to communicate your needs to family, friends, even colleagues without guilt or hesitation. (Stay tuned as we’ll dive into this another day.)

Finding Moments of Joy

Uncover the importance of indulging in activities that bring you joy. Whether it's reading a book, going for a walk, or enjoying a hobby, these moments contribute to your overall well-being.

Overcoming the Stigma

Being a Mom is a really difficult job - physically and emotionally. There are so many things battling against you - what we’ve talked about today are just a small sample of what Moms face daily. Let’s recap.

First off, there's the constant juggling act – the never-ending To-Do list of responsibilities and places to be. From needing to be in two places at once to being the person to manage most things in the household, it feels like there's always something or someone demanding your attention.

Then comes the weighty stigma – the judgmental glances and raised eyebrows when you dare to put yourself first. The 'selfish' label hangs in the air, making you second-guess your every move. Whether these are real or perceived, they feel real in the moment.

And, of course, there's the exhausting balancing act every Mom must enact. Balancing the role of a caregiving virtuoso without sidelining our own well-being feels like navigating a tightrope at the circus—striving to keep everyone else in awe while skillfully avoiding the risky plunge into self-neglect. Quite the challenge, isn't it?

I’ll Tell You What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

(Please message me and tell me you got that musical reference! LOL!)

By embracing 'me time' without guilt, you'll find a renewed sense of energy, improved mental health, and better capabilities to support those around you. It's not about being 'selfish'; it's about being self-aware and resilient.

In essence, by redefining your perspective on 'selfish,' you pave the way for a more compassionate and balanced approach to caregiving. 'Self-care' becomes a badge of honor, a commitment to yourself so that you can, in turn, help others. It's not about neglecting responsibilities; it's about ensuring that your well remains full, enabling you to pour into the lives of those who depend on you.

Take care, Mamas. We can do this. Together.