It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

Is It Though?

Put. Down. The. Remote.

Ladies,  we need to talk for a moment about the unrealistic expectations that come around the holidays.

I’m not talking about gift giving here. But that is certainly a convo for another day. 

I’m talking about the dream of the perfect man sweeping you off your feet in the most unexpected way. The whirlwind romance. The “foot pop” and the “meet cute” they talk about in the movies. Yup, I’m talking about The Hallmark Channel.

Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I love Hallmark movies and am known to have a little contest with myself to see if I can watch all of the new holiday premiers. (Please tell me I’m not the only one.) I love the cute little towns, the perfect festivities, the inconvenient problem that throws two unsuspecting people together to fall in love. The inevitable “curfluffle” as my family calls it, and the magical way it works out in the end. Isn’t it grand?!

No. No, it’s not.

I often talk about this with my female clients, and occasionally men, who are single and feeling this longing at the holidays for a good old fashioned romance. 

Put down the remote. Turn off the romance movies. Pack the novels away for the season. It doesn’t exist that way in real life.

Romance -as it’s presented by Hollywood -does not exist. 

Romance in the movies is wonderful. And we all want a part of it. But then we’re disappointed when real life doesn’t play out the same way. We’re sad that the guy didn’t make our foot pop like they talk about in Princess Diaries and other Romcoms. This is why the movies are so wonderful. They take us out of reality for a moment in time and let us dream for a bit. 

When the movie ends, we are forced back into reality. Sometimes this reality isn’t what we want, I get it. We want love! We want the chance encounter that turns into a whirlwind romance. We desperately want that alternate reality where our foot does pop when our Prince Charming kisses us. 

It’s sucks being alone.  Especially at the holidays. Watching all the couples walk hand in hand while they shop for gifts to give to their perfect families. Romantic dinners with a special someone. Romantic holiday traditions being made. Maybe even that coveted Christmastime proposal followed by the pop of a champagne bottle to celebrate. Bah humbug! 

When we’re stuck in this unrealistic reality, inevitably feelings of loneliness and longing set in and we start to feel sad and maybe even depressed. We start having, or maybe dive deeper into, negative thoughts of why we’re alone and why no one would want to be with us. If you’re already in a relationship we can start feeling disappointed in our significant other for not meeting expectations they didn’t know existed. We can start comparing sweet and/or romantic gestures to how it’s done in the latest holiday movie. All of these things leave us disappointed and hurting. 

All because we’re looking for and longing for something that only exists in the movies. Not in real life. 

So put down the remote and go to the party your friend is having. Sure, it might be filled mostly with couples, but being alone feeling sad isn’t going to do anything productive for your self-esteem. Get dressed up and feel good about you. Go have some fun!